Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Art of Jodi Arias Pt. 4 + Misc. Writings

You know, after all the testimony about stabbing Travis Alexander, the semi-forced anal sex stories and the obvious psychosis of the woman, I still kind of like Jodi Arias. Not in a I'd let her babysit my 5-year-old way but as a specimen of what not to do with your life sort of way.

While I don't see her as a sex kitten the way the media portrays her--she's just a normal looking chick to me--she obviously has some appeal to average people with a slob wife and 3 kids that they ignore. As I've said before she should be used as a federal prostitute to satiate the sexual demons of many rich guys who would be willing to bid for her services for pay.

When she's not busy working as a call girl she could create drawings and sell them to pay for schools and roads. What I'm saying is that this chick could become a cash cow instead of just a statistic. Of course, on the chance that she is exonerated of first degree murder she might even become the next Van Gogh. Haha.

Anyway, I've tracked down some more art of hers and a few postcards she wrote to some "friend" who in turn sold the jottings for cold hard cashola. Which, I'm sure, is going into a trust fund for Jodi Arias. Right. Let's get this shit over with.

"Virgo" is obviously part of the "zodiac collection." You know what, fuck the Martha Stewart collection at Kmart or wherever she's peddling her wares nowadays, some chain in dire need of a new image should put out the JA collection and cause a firestorm of protest and publicity. I mean, is selling crap born of Chinese slave labor any less offensive than a murderer's art? Probably not.

At least the artwork has some intrinsic value beyond simple utilitarian needs. Obviously it would be a bit cheaper than $1,249 or whatever the best offer actually was on this piece. Either way, the portrait reminds me less of astrology and more of Virginia Madsen post-heyday and in a cameo on Monk. Which was a good thing because she was still a cougar then. Maybe she still is. Man, I'm rambling. I guess that's what happens when I don't post for 10 days even though I have a bunch of crap to slap up here on my billboard.

Oh, "Catharsis", wah wah wah. This one's a bit emo don't you think? 30 years from now this will have been passed around like a party girl and hung on the walls of 15 different tater-dicked dudes with Camaros who slap on the musk heavier than Jodi can stab. All the same it's worth a fortnight of sweat equity for the common man. $1,000.

This Gayla Lynch chick sold the postcards that she and Jodi exchanged faster than a teenage boy humping his first pack of ground beef for erotic release. Not that she owes her anything but you'd think she'd wait a little while, or at least 24 hours, after receiving her payload. I guess she needed the $75 more than a memento from a murdering pen pal. Now that we all have Jodi's address maybe we should exchange cards with her too.

No comments: